Your choice in these matters IS a matter of your free will in the moment. Might I suggest that in these moments of opportunity for You the Soul, that you listen to the suggestions of your Guides rather than to the self-centered voice of the ego/intellect? This is merely a suggestion, my friend. The free will choice is yours and I am acting here in a purely advisory capacity. I simply urge you to take your own advice in these situations, when in fact you are embodying the Soul Self. It will be quite easy to determine if you are experiencing this unique perspective. The Soul Self is informed through communications with All That Is. This perspective may guide you to the best resolution of any given creative challenge you may face.
The differences between the subconscious creation of negative realities and the conscious co-creation of positive life-affirming realities by the awakening human consciousness through use if the Divine Will are quite pronounced. You will know it when you are faced with a decision to go one way or the other. I will leave it at that for now. Obviously, you are each required to learn your individual Lessons. I would not wish to give you ALL the answers, and by so doing, rob you of the “joy” of learning your Lessons on your own.